Youth and Transitions
By Colleen Cahoon
Family Navigator Coordinator
Esquimalt MFRC
Transitions are a regular part of life and military families often experience frequent transitions throughout the military member’s career. Whether it be a transition that is brought upon by a deployment, a move, or even releasing from the CAF, change can be both exciting and unsettling for families.
The teen years can be an exciting time of change as well as challenging for both parents and children, especially if it involves a move. While this transition can be stressful for all members of your family, moving can be especially difficult for teens.
Here are a few ways to support your teenager in moving to a new community.
Impact of the Move
During their teenage years, your child becomes more independent from you and their friends become very important. Having to leave his/her established peer group and then find a new group of friends may be overwhelming. This doesn’t mean that you should not try and connect with your teen. During adolescence, your kids need you more than ever. Make the most of the opportunities that the move provides. Some parents find that they have great moments of connection with their teen while driving in the car. When your teen is ready to talk, don’t ask too many questions and/or offer advice. Demonstrate that you understand the impact that this move has made on their life. Once you understand, you will know what your teen may need to help with this transition.
Model Stress Management
When your teen is open to talking about how they are feeling, you can talk about how this move has been challenging for you as well. Your kids will learn by seeing what you do to manage stress. Be sure to let your teen know how you feel and what you do to manage your stress.
Acknowledge their Loss
Show your teen that you understand how hard it is to leave their friends. Sharing your own sadness about leaving friends will demonstrate that you aren’t minimizing their feelings. Once you have acknowledged your teen’s feelings, he/she may be willing to problem solve how to maintain the friendships that they left behind. Technology offers so many options for staying in touch with friends near and far.
Get Connected
Help your teen get connected in their new community. For example, you can share how connecting with other military families through programs that are offered through the local MFRC has helped you meet new people. This may inspire your teen to participate in teen programs and/or activities that are offered in the community.