Supporting Someone with a Mental Illness
By Kaitlyn Ross
Social Worker
Esquimalt MFRC
The first week of May is Mental Health Week in Canada. It is an opportunity to reflect on the advances in mental health, spread awareness about mental illness and share stories of recovery. One in three Canadians will experience a mental health problem in their lifetime. Additionally, one in five Canadians will experience some problem with their mental health in the course of a year. These statistics are comparable for the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) population and their families. However, with the added stress of living the military lifestyle, including frequent transitions, deployments and relocation, it is important to be proactive and equip yourself with the appropriate tools when supporting someone you love with a mental illness.
It can be difficult to witness someone you love in pain and it is confusing when they are not acting like themselves. The path to recovery seems much more straightforward with a cold or a broken arm but what about mental illness? Similar to other health problems, mental illness needs extra love and support. Just because you cannot see the illness does not mean you are powerless to help.
Here are some things to consider when supporting someone you love with a mental illness:
Observe and Support
Research confirms that support from family and friends is a key part of helping someone who is going through a mental illness. This support provides a network of practical and emotional help. Family and friends are often the first ones to notice that something is wrong. Getting help early is an important part of treating mental illness. Take some time to learn about the signs and symptoms of different mental illnesses. Learning to understand how treatments work, what side-effects you may see and how to notice improvements are all invaluable pieces of information. Avoid trying to diagnose them or giving medical treatment or advice. Instead, learn together and explore possible treatment options. Finding a treatment that works is often a process of trial and error, so family members may also be the first to notice signs of improvement.
Offer to Get Involved
Families and friends can be important advocates to help loved ones get through those hard, early stages of having a mental illness. They can help their loved one find out what treatment is best for them. They can also be key in letting professionals know what’s going on, filling in parts of the picture that the person who’s ill may not be well enough to describe on their own. Accessing and navigating mental health care systems can be overwhelming, offer to do some research and make those first phone calls and appointments. Be mindful not to make decisions on behalf of your loved one, offer to get involved, but respect their choice if they decline your offer. If they feel it would be helpful, accompany your loved one to doctor appointments. Additionally, if you spend a lot of time around your loved one, you can help them remember to take their medications or to make or keep appointments for treatment.
Support a Healthy Lifestyle
You may be able to help support a healthy lifestyle through day-to-day nutrition, recreation and exercise, and proper sleeping habits. Sometimes we think we are being helpful by trying to solve their problems, when really, one of the best ways to support someone you love is to model a healthy lifestyle yourself. This could include cooking nutritious meals for the person or inviting them for a walk outside.
Emotional Support
You can play an important role in helping someone feel less alone and ashamed. Avoid telling them to stop feeling like they do, or minimizing how they feel, even if you don’t understand it. They are not to blame for their illness, but they may feel that they are, or may be getting that message from others. Try to be as supportive, understanding and patient as possible.
The Impact of Caring
When a caregiver’s own needs are not met, they are more likely to become irritable, short-tempered, resentful and anxious. In fact, caregiver burden puts caregivers at risk for developing mental health problems themselves, such as depression or anxiety. It is important for caregivers to recognize they need to take care of themselves in order to support the people they love. To do this a caregiver may need to confront their own feelings of guilt and fear, or set limits to the amount of help they can provide. Additionally, take time for yourself and practice self-care. Self-care is anything physical, emotional, social or spiritual that contributes to managing everyday life.
Support is available for you. Contact your local Military Family Resource Centre for educational opportunities, including our Mental Health First Aid Course and short-term counselling options.
Adapted from the Mental Health Commission of Canada and Here to Help BC